gnatweds

We attended one wedding last Sunday, will have one to go to next week, and yet another on Sep 30. Its going to be a busy month. Check out the invites man.

Unlike the US or UK, August is definitely not a favoured month to get married in this jurisdiction. Reason being, August in the roman calendar falls into the 7th Chinese lunar calendar month - when the Chinese believe the gates of hell are opened so spirits can roam the earth. Superstition and tradition, and parental displeasure means that there is a sort of backlog in September and that's when everyone gets hitched.

The Usual Singaporean Wedding:
The groom arrives at the Brides home at some unearthly hour of the morning accompanied by his posse of "brothers".
(NB: Please note that this means that the bride has to wake up three hours in advance to get prettified - there may be some accompanying rituals like hair combing yadadadada - the reasons for which this uncultured clout has no idea about)
The brothers are stopped at the door by the bride's own posse of "sisters". Sounds bad yet?
The brothers have to barter/buy/try everything possible to get through the sisters - this usually involves extremely embarrassing stunts, horrible hot sauce concoctions and money changing hands before the groom is allowed to get to his bride.
But all this has to happen before a magic hour - else it would be horribly unlucky for the couple - when they'd have to leave for the groom's place.
There they will kneel and serve tea to 1001 relatives who will give blessings of many children - *shudders*.
THEN, they have to go back to the bride's home to serve tea to her 1001 relatives - who will also most likely call down wishes from the heavens for children. (she also changes her outfit - apparently it is tres unlucky to wear the same gown)
(BTW, this uncultured lout actually knows this little factiod: The bride back in those feudal days would only go home three days later, but the entire thing has been compressed to fit the modern day and age)
If they have their own home, they then go there and sometimes have strange ceremonies which involve children rolling around the nuptial bed - again, its this archaic fertility rite. Sometimes there are even live chickens involved. A cock and a hen are thrown under the bed - the first to emerge is a clue to the sex of the couple's first child.
What is it about children and marriages anyway? Isn't it supposed to be ahem about the couple???
They then get transported in a garishly decorated car with fountains of ribbons, half wilted flowers and occasionally scary looking dolls to the designated hotel where the 10 course Chinese dinner is held. The car is parked right outside the hotel - mainly as a way to show it off: ahem. If course, there are often more than 2 weddings at the hotel on any given night SO it just means that there are a lot of rather sorry looking mercs, BMWs and Jags drooping with flowers in the driveway.
These dinners usually feature ... ugh.... shark's fin soup! *triple shudders and annoyance*
But the dinners have to start with a de riguer slide show showing the couple's entire life story in pictures - usually starting with baby pixes. Geez. Okay, if this corniness is not enough, there's usually a grand entrance of the couple, complete with dry ice.
Sigh. Halfway through this extremely protracted affair - the bride changes into another outfit.
By this time, its 10 pm and the guests are raring to go home, the couple is exhausted but noooo:
its not the end.
There's the yam seng ceremony, a couple of speeches AND the mandatory table photos where guests huddle into a scrimmage at one end of the table, the bride and groom joins them and the photographer takes the obligatory shot. Wha liaus.

I'll let you find out for yourselves how many of these milestones actually happen on our wedding dinners.

On another note in the run up to the wedding: Our invites have gone out to the printers.
It involved a fairly painful process of choosing paper etc etc. Man, I hope it turns out alright.
This is a picture of our seal... Its upside down here, but when printed it should read NE.
Everything on your invites and seals was designed by Mr Peter Williams. He is the hubby of my great friend Mrs Arti Mulchand-Williams.
Thank YOU Pete!




Erh, of course, Pete didn't quite count on the clumsy cloddishness inherent in Gnat.
If you look closely, you'll see that the sealing wax has the ends rather sooty and mangled.
We can't get it quite right yet! The wax isn't melting the way it should and *whimper*
this has to go on 300 invites. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh.

Let's hope it goes alright. Pray for me/us.